Diamonds are Forever

Zaia bought me a pair of diamond earrings many years ago. One time while I was visiting a friend on her acreage, playing with her dogs, one of my earrings was lost. So Zaia had to get me a replacement from the same jeweler as before. This time it was determined that I would have the backing mechanism such that it could not be simply pulled out but rather a tiny button had to be pressed to release it.

This was all well and fine but the button was so tiny that once I managed to get the earrings on, it was all I could do to get them off. So they sat in my jewelry box for a couple of years, much to my dismay.

However, this past Christmas, I was able to find a jeweler that could repair a broken necklace and while in his store I noticed a pair of diamond earrings mounted differently. I told Zaia about this and we agreed that we would bring in my earrings and have them remounted.

So several months go by and one afternoon, Zaia tells me he has to go to Staples and he would be back later. Some time went by and I began to wonder when he would be back, so I called him on his cell phone. He answered and told me he was on his way home but that he had lied about going to Staples. Instead he decided to surprise me by taking my earrings to the jeweler and while there he was told that my diamonds were nothing but glass!

I was shocked. The jeweler had at first suggested that I might have exchanged the real diamonds for fakes due to a loss or something. Zaia told him that was not my style. So the jeweler asked if we had a housekeeper, which we do, so now she became the top suspect. We have complete faith in her so then the jeweler asked if we had workers in the house, which we had the previous summer by the dozen. The suspect list just grew.

Zaia asked about the original jeweler as he had the time and means to exchange out the real diamonds. This jeweler said he was one the top people in town and was above reproach. So back to the horde of workers. Then the jeweler suggested that we claim the loss on our insurance. We had made a large claim on our insurance the previous year and knew that if we made another claim, we would be lucky if we would ever get insurance again, so that wasn’t an option.

So now we were looking at the prospect of replacing the earrings for a second time. I was really unhappy. Zaia was being very Zen about it. Zaia even asks me whether I have another pair of earrings. I said of course not, these are my only diamonds. Anyways, you bought them for me, you should know.

So Zaia got back home and he hands me the bag with the earrings and tells me that the bag is worth more than the damn earrings. I take them to our office to tell our employees about this terrible experience. I relate the entire story to them while holding the bag with the earrings. As I finish telling them, I said let me show you these worthless earrings. As I pull out the earrings I just begin to laugh and laugh. I guess I did have another pair of “diamond” earrings after all. A pair I bought 20 odd years before from a department store for $10. They looked like crap, a steel backer because I had lost the original “gold” ones. How could Zaia have even considered these the real thing!

So now I am going to have to take the earrings to the jeweler myself as Zaia’s face will be red for a while. This has made great dinner conversation with our friends ever since. I am going to get a lot of mileage out of this little adventure.